Graduation

How was your graduation?
Mine's bad
really bad.

In fact, if 30 years down the road, you think back about your graduation as a memorable one.
Mine is probably the other way round.
Because it appeared just the other way round as I expected.

Like NEVER BEFORE.
On the Graduation Day, I woke up early.
I prepared fast.
I went to the Ceremony EARLY!
Like never before...

But from the moment I reach school.
I knew "The Day" isn't "My Day"
People start calling me and I tried to get things right.

And I thought I did.
When the Ceremony ended, Prom gets hasty and calls start flooding in as well.
I tried my best to deal with everythings in a positive attitude.
BUT things just don't get better.
Here is the list of item that screwed up on the Ceremony (it's just SOME examples)

• I can't find my FYP team mates to take photo with
• I can't entertain/tour my mum who visited me/my school for the very once in her life
• I can't properly guide my mum to the bus-stop
• I can't have a good chat and really thank my facilitator for how grateful I am for her support all these while
• I can't have enough time to take a shot with my facilitator
• I can't say goodbye properly to all my friends
• I can't take photo with the many entities that I belong to

Then, the call came for me to "Go for Prom before it's too late"

And to make things right before I am seen as "Late-Comer" again, I left the school before I can settle everything till my hearts content

My buddy gave me a ride.
We lost our way.
I didn't blame him because he have no obligation to give me a ride in the very first place but he did
The problem is, we lost our way and thus I was late.
With the people thinking "WTF! Edmund is Late AGAIN!!!" mindset, I ran to the Prom.

----------

When I thought the nightmare was over.
It JUST began:
Friends who help purchase tickets from me were not able to enter and calls were flodding in and I thus have to make coordination.
Tiff and her band were not able to lcoate the hall and I am suppose to be there early to watch them dry-run
The Reception was not set-up because the layout and instruction was with me
The Principal (GOH) was earlier than I was
The Advisor still wants to vet my speech
The 22mins video was with me.

And because I was late, the speech which I write and re-writed for days were scraped.
I didn't even get to keep it in written form because my advisor threw it into the thrash can.
The many "Thank You!" I have to say to my good friends on stage like Desmond; Buddy; Jelisa & Jon become just a hopeful wish of mine.

Basically, the whole thing totally screwed up.

So in the end, instead of enjoying the Prom.
I tried to tie up loose ends, which I hope I did but I know "Sorry" can't make up for everything.

I didn't even enjoy the dinner.

At Prom, as a grad, you're suppose to be sitting with your friends,
chatting and saying heartfelt thanks to people who have helped you in your 3 yrs
Taking final pictures with people
Me?
I was on the very desk with a panels of Directors.
Some may see this as glam, but doing what you need to do may not be what you want to do
And when what you want to do is the direct opposite of what you have to
it feels shitty, more than that, I can't describe it.

Basically, I am VERY sad.
at the same time, a little angry with some one.
but I know I have no rights to be so because I have been the guy screwing things up.

After putting in so much time and effort to help

Nevermind if there are no appreciation

At least, don't wound me

I'm a Quitter.